So much of my blog has been about the past and I suppose that is because it’s something that I understand. The future is something which I won’t have a chance of understanding, at least until I’ve reached it or passed it, and by that time, it becomes the present or past.
As much as the potential of a future excites me, the unknowns are what I find scary and at times close to terrifying. Yet the future is something I cannot avoid and will come no matter what I do. It won’t halt in its journey just because I don’t feel ready to see it yet.
To me the past usually appears clear. Sure, it’s not black and white, it’s a whole lot of grey but it’s easy to see. On the other hand, the future is hazy and for someone who likes to know everything it’s hard to not even know what is going to happen in two steps let alone 2 million. On the other hand, I look back to the past and from hindsight what has happened is clear. You can argue with the whys but you can’t argue with the whats. You can’t argue about something which hasn’t happened yet and trying to gets you nowhere. You know nothing but that your future is hidden behind swirling mist that one day you’ll get to see behind it but when is the question we are all asking.
So I have a future ahead of me and I feel like I know nothing of it. Its unknowability is what makes the future so exciting and so terrifying. I’m going to live through it and it will become my past but until I’ve lived my final future I think I’ll be doing a lot of work at learning to not worry about it and learning to love it because it’s as important as the past.